Things feel impossible until they are done

The strange thing about fear

I think one strange thing about life is that everything feels impossible before it happens.

And after it happens, we start saying, “It was not that hard.”

But maybe that is not true.

Maybe it was hard. Maybe we were scared. Maybe we were confused. Maybe we had no idea how things would work out.

But once it is done, our mind connects the dots backwards and makes it look simple.

My mind has done this many times

I have seen this pattern so many times in my own life.

When I had to go to Faizabad for studies, I thought it was too big for me. A different city, a bigger school, new people, new pressure. I used to think, even if I get admission, will I survive there? Will I pass exams? Will I get good marks?

And then, years later, I left that school as one of the good students. Teachers respected me. Students knew me. The same place which once felt impossible became a part of my identity.

JEE, Jamia, and the fear of big names

Same with JEE Mains.

I used to think people who clear JEE are some different kind of humans. Geniuses. Maybe not like me. Even on the exam day, I felt like not going. But somehow I went, gave the exam, and got a decent rank. Not AIR 1 or anything dramatic, but good enough for me and my preparation.

Same with Jamia.

When I first thought about JMI or AMU, it felt too far. Like these places are only for toppers, only for people who already know what they are doing. I didn’t get in earlier. I missed chances. I even missed an admission date. But somehow, through spot registration, I got the opportunity. And finally, I entered FET, Jamia Millia Islamia.

At that time, it felt like a dream. Now when I look back, I say it casually.

That’s the funny part.

We suffer deeply before something happens. Then after it happens, we disrespect our own struggle.

English and programming were also monsters once

English was also like that for me.

There was a time when I was scared of English. My English was not perfect, and honestly, it is still not perfect. But earlier, I used to feel ashamed of mistakes. Like grammar mistakes mean I am less intelligent or less capable.

Then slowly I understood something.

Language is communication first.

Of course grammar matters. Of course clarity matters. But the main thing is: can I say what I want to say? Can I express what is inside my head?

Now I write. I speak. I make mistakes. I correct them. I learn.

But I am not scared like before.

Programming was another nightmare.

I still remember seeing C++ code in the computer lab and thinking, how can someone remember all these words, symbols, brackets, rules, syntax? And then I heard people write thousands of lines of code which run apps like WhatsApp and YouTube.

It felt impossible.

And now, somehow, I earn my living through programming.

That old fear looks funny now, but at that time it was real.

Maybe our mind is bad at judging difficulty

This is the thing I’m trying to understand.

Maybe our mind is very bad at judging difficulty before action.

When something is unsolved, it feels impossible. When something is solved, it feels obvious.

And between impossible and obvious, there is only one bridge:

Doing it.

Not perfect planning. Not full confidence. Not waiting for the right mood.

Just doing it, badly in the beginning.

The same thing happens with books

I see the same thing with books also.

Sometimes I start a book and get stuck on one topic or one chapter. Then I leave the book. After some days, my mind starts building a story:

“Don’t pick that book again. You left it because it was hard.”

But many times, when I just open the previous paragraph and continue, I realize it was not that hard.

I just needed to re-enter.

Maybe many things in life are like that.

We don’t leave them because they are impossible. We leave them because they became emotionally heavy in our mind.

Small tasks also become monsters

Aadhaar correction. Bank password reset. Electricity bill issue. Some pending work. Some difficult topic. Some interview preparation.

The actual work may be small, but the story around it becomes huge.

And then we call ourselves lazy.

But maybe sometimes we are not lazy.

Maybe we are just scared of re-entering.

The things that still feel hard

There are still many things in my life which feel hard.

Learning DSA properly. System design. Landing a better job interview. Building my own venture. Meeting someone. Going outside India for work someday.

Earlier, I used to think hard means impossible.

Now I don’t think that.

Hard just means I have not broken it down yet.

That’s it.

The next honest step

I don’t need to solve my whole life today.

I only need to take the next honest step.

One DSA problem. One page of a book. One client call. One application. One conversation. One small action.

Maybe that is how most impossible things become normal.

Not suddenly. Not with motivation music in the background. Not like a movie scene.

Just slowly.

One small uncomfortable action at a time.

Unsolved is not impossible

Maybe after some years, I’ll look back at the things I am scared of today and laugh again.

Like I laughed at English. Like I laughed at programming. Like I laughed at the fear of Faizabad, JEE, Jamia, freelancing, and everything else.

So maybe the point is simple:

Don’t trust the first fear too much.

Sometimes it is not telling you the truth. Sometimes it is only telling you that the thing is still unsolved.

And unsolved is not the same as impossible.